


Quite the...bad situation

by TyrantTirade



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Attempt at Humor, Crack Treated Seriously, Fisting, Mechaphilia, Mildly Dubious Consent, Other, Robot Sex, Sex Pollen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-02-09 22:39:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18647521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TyrantTirade/pseuds/TyrantTirade
Summary: Here's the thing that no one seems to really understand. Elliot does not, and he repeats. Does not. Hate the robot. Sure one time, he said one thing, that suggested that he hates the robot.Yes, he said it, sure, but not in a, i hate the robot way. More like in a, i would like to avoid the robot, way.Or; the unexpected backstory behind why Mirage isn't the biggest fan of the creepy smiling robot.





	Quite the...bad situation

**Author's Note:**

> The tags will be specified in the end notes as a warning if you need it. Otherwise this is really just a cracky character study for mirage/excuse for mirage to get fisted. 
> 
> Im working on a few apex fics but this is the first one im posting and i feel like thats a great show of character on my part. Because nothing says hello new fandom like robot fisting porn. -sunglasses emoji-
> 
> Oh and i took a lot of liberties with this and its unbetaed, so yeah lmk if something needs tagged or warned

Here's the thing that no one seems to really understand. Elliot does not, and he repeats. Does not. Hate the robot. 

Sure one time, he said one thing, that suggested that he hates the robot. Yes, he said it, sure, but not in a, i hate the robot way. 

More like in a, i would like to avoid the robot, way.

But it's not because he hates it. Elliot only hates worms and brussel sprouts, not stupid innocent- albeit creepy as fuck- smiling robots. 

Nah, it's just well...he feels a little awkward around Pathfinder. Awkward in the sense that- they have history.

-

“We're in the ring already friends!” Pathfinder says joyfully, tone too happy for a robot and that kinda freaks Elliot out a little. He's only been in the games twice so he's still not used to any of the regulars. it's hard for him to understand why everyone loves that stupid robot so much.

He just ignores it though, figures that's the best way to get used to it. Instead he focuses on his feet sloshing through the swamps, mud squishing under his feet, his socks are already soaked.

But still, he makes sure to stay within sight of the robot. Their teammate already fucked off in another direction and died. And sure Elliot can be pretty dumb sometimes, admittedly, but he's not ignorant. 

Even if the robot reminds him of a pervy ice cream truck guy he knows he doesn't stand a chance without him and…he loves money too much to run off and die. 

So as Pathfinder stands on a shacks rooftop Mirage watches from below, crawling through the murky waters, fantasizing just a little about the shower he’ll reward himself when he gets home.

When- “Ah shit! Fuck,” Mirage yells. Covering his mouth instantly because that was way too goddamn loud and that is exactly why he  
knows he can be dumb. 

He winces and mumbles fucks and shits, all muffled under his palm as searing stabbing pains course up his calf. Like a knife went straight through his tac’ pants. It takes everything in him to not fall down onto his ass in the swamp and pull the son of a bitches off to see what the hell happened. 

But then he might just get stabbed in the ass and well, no. 

So quickly he manages to start hobbling towards one of the shacks porches as the robot's voice comes through his coms. “Are you okay friend?” it says happily. 

Mirage, in a state of panic grits his teeth and manages not to scream, no you fucking metal jackass as he lifts himself out of the waters and scrambles to tug his boot off. His feet are wet as hell so everything is all squishy and that in itself is gross but it feels like a relief when he manages to roll his wet pant legs up to his knee without having to cut them off. 

The source of the stinging comes from the back of his ankle so he has to awkwardly stretch to see it, on his knees, one bent back as he twists his torso to look at it. 

His legs are hairy and the water makes it all mat down flat to his leg so it's hard to see much but he does notice some small red dots, lines of water diluted blood running down his ankle. 

But for the excruciating pain it doesn't look like much. 

Maybe he's just...a pussy? Elliot thinks to himself as he rubs the blood off like its nothing and tries to ignore the burning, pulsing, stabby pains shooting up his thigh now. It's fucking weird. 

As if on cue something even weirder approaches. The robots feet clacking as it merrily skips its happy ass in his direction, having jumped off the roof, and it squats to get level. 

“I don't see anything friend,” the smug little fucker says. 

Elliot grits his teeth hard as he looks up at it, “Yeah, well, i feel something. Not that you'd know what that's like.”

“I feel many things,” the robot says before continuing, “Let me have a closer look.”

Elliot wants to push him away, tell him to fuck off, but decides for once in his life to not be a pissbaby as he moves his hands out of the way and allows Pathfinder to take over. 

Its strange and Mirage has never seen him do it before but Pathfinders screen goes to blue and he stares at Elliots ankle for a second, assessing it before excitedly sticking one finger up. “I have found the problem friend!”

There's a jolt of pain again, higher now and Elliot cant keep himself from hissing as his pelvis starts to go numb and...tingly? “What is it!” he demands. 

“You are in luck friend, it is just a bite.”

A bite? “From what?”

Pathfinder scans more, as if reading something in his own mind. “Pygocentrus ruveriom- also known as a love piranha is a fish species local to the outlands. Known to cause very peculiar symptoms. Within minutes of biting its prey, the victims have a range of symptoms from pain to heart failure-”

“Heart failure!” Mirage panics, eyes bugged out. “You just said it was just a bite you moron.”

Pathfinder cocks its head curiously. “Yes friend, you are in luck, it appears that you were only attacked by merely a fingerling.”

Elliot's head is starting to feel fuzzy. Not bad fuzzy...drug fuzzy? Its weird as hell, the pain dulling substantially as his body begins to relax and his heart rate picks up. All he can really do is close his eyes and relax. “What-” he starts “What are the symptoms- all of them?”

Pathfinder pauses again before he speaks, “Symptoms include, increased heart rate, muscle relaxation, thirst, pain at the source of the bite, numbing, bodily tingling, blurred vision, delusion, extreme arousal-”

Mirage shoots his eyes open drastically, lifting his neck to look at the stupid shiny robot “What did you just say?”

“Extreme arousal?” the robot asks, “Would you like me to continue?”

Elliot goes to say yes, or maybe no, he isn't even sure anymore as he stares up and his mouth gets dry as hell and, ah fuck, he feels his dick getting hard in his tac pants and like an idiot he looks at the robot and murmurs “Can you get my pants off? Please,” he can hear that his voice sounds pathetic, coming out as a beg but he really doesn't care because he just wants his fucking pants off.

“Are you sure friend?” Pathfinder asks casually. 

Elliot is sweating, fuck he's sweating hard, he feels like he's sprinted a mile as he breathes out another “please.”

That earns him an “okay,” from the robot as one of his metal fingers unbuttons his pants and- jesus fucking christ he's never been so turned on in his life from a robot taking his pants off.

Actually he's never even had a robot take his pants off so, new experiences right?

He sighs in relief as the robot lifts him to tug them full off, his cock swaying towards his stomach already. “Fuck,” he sighs, eyes clenching.

“Are you there friend?” he hears, from that happy, happy voice above him. He manages to unclamp his eyes and look up at Pathfinder and he is still a robot but...wow he's shiny “You're very shiny,” he babbles uncontrollably “I like your paint job,” he says about the metallic lines going down Pathfinders metal torso. 

“Is there anything you need?” the robot asks. And, yeah, yeah there really is, he thinks as he lets out what's comparable to a growl, hips curling upward desperately as he begs “fuck me.” like he's never needed anything more in his life.

“I do not know how to do that.” the robot replies. 

But Elliot doesn't fucking care, he wants it, he needs anything he can get. “ugh,” he groans “just fucking put your cock in me, you've done that before right?” a trail of sweat rolls down his head and he can't think. Did he just ask a robot if its a virgin?

“Unlike humans i do not have genitals.”

Elliot can't fucking think- jesus- he opens his eyes to look. Thinks he could just take care of himself because no cock and no mouth and no ass on a robot probably means no fuck, and he really really doubts that a handy from those hands would do much but...those hands. He catches himself staring at them and sure they're kinda blocky but they're also nice and narrow and smooth and clean and- “Put your hand in my ass?” he asks desperately. 

The robot doesn't look or sound confused but it clearly is confused as it asks “Whats that friend?”

“Just-” Elliot mumbles “Put some gun oil on your hand and stick it in, i can take it i promise- I've-” he feels himself go hot with embarrassment, breathlessly saying “I've been fisted, just- please?”

Pathfinder looks a millisecond away from short circuiting which would be very very bad, before it finally catches up, slinging it's backpack onto the ground beside him. “Okay friend!” it says, fishing out something even better, a tub of petroleum jelly, from its pack.

“Perfect,” Mirage finds himself mumbling as he relaxes into the wood below him.

He doesn't usually express so easily the details of his interests in bed. How he just, really, likes things in his ass, how he's a self proclaimed veteran bottom, a complete and total slutsky, a major butthoe.

But he just can't not right now, just the idea of getting fucked has his dick throbbing and his ass clenching in preparation. 

Without saying anything to Pathfinder he finds himself flipping onto his stomach, knees weak and wobbly and tingly as he manages to get them up under his stomach so he can stick his ass in the air like an animal in fucking heat with his legs spread to go with it.

That gets his face squished into his arms but he figures that works since he’ll probably need something to bite on anyway. Sweat coats his legs, dripping down his taint. He feels dirty as fuck but even that just makes him want it more. He wishes he got stuck with a human teammate so he could get the real thing. Fuck.

“You will have to tell me what to do friend,” Pathfinder says as he pops the lid off of the jellys tub and it lands beside Elliots leg, fingers squelching as they press into the stuff. 

“Just,” Elliot babbles “put a few fingers at a time in and then the whole thing, it's pretty fucking easy, c'mon.” he feels his patience wearing thin, clenching his asshole like Pathfinder even knows what the hell an asshole is. 

He almost expects gentling, a hand squeezing his ass, rubbing along his cheeks and up his spine, maybe down his crack and against his hole, to grab at his cock and his balls and feel him. He expects a voice to come through his foggy brain and say something like, ‘yeah, you need it don't you? You gonna beg me to finger your hole.’ and as always he would beg for it or demand it, depending how much of a goddamn tease they are. He's a power bottom, he knows he is. He isn't afraid to beg for it.

But- that's not at all what happens. He's too fucking turned on to care though, just moans desperately at the first fluid push of a flat cornered finger going easily into his hole. 

It stays there for a moment before Elliot realizes that he didn’t specify for Pathfinder to move it. 

So he gathers all the brainpower he has beyond the fog of horny as fuck and gets to instructing. “Move it in and out buddy, ya know, thrust it.” 

He sighs in relief as Pathfinder does so obediently. 

“Yeah, that's good,” he says “Go for two.”

Animatedly, Pathfinder obeys with an “okay!” shoving a second finger in mechanically. 

Vaguely Mirage thinks this is probably similar to like a fucking machine or something, mechanical movements, all rhythm but no actual consideration to how he feels. Which is oddly hot in the moment, maybe it's just the fish venom talking.

He's too far into sex brain to care though as he feels Pathfinder stuff a third finger in on his own accord. Mirage groans, feeling himself grin stupidly as the feeling of finally getting fucked good starts to settle in and he cant help but sigh “Good boy,” like the time he picked up this twenty something year old kid at the bar after closing and guided him step by step on how to fuck him the way he likes getting fucked. 

Pathfinder sounds incredibly happy as he says “thank you friend,” and continues to finger him at a steady pace. 

God, it's the same movement, boxy fingers and wood splinters digging into his kneecaps but its good, its so fucking nice. The stretch and drag and the smoothness of those metal fingers fucking him open. All he really cares about at the moment is the feeling of those body warmed fingers fucking into his spot easily. 

“More please?” he finds himself asking, chasing the tight feeling of four fingers. His ass clenching down tight as Pathfinder pushes another one in quickly. 

Elliot should have figured that a robot wouldn't have much of a sense of patience or a sense of… maybe that will hurt. So despite Elliots ass going vice tight around his fingers he just keeps pushing, all the way in, he doesn't have much for knuckles so soon enough Mirage can feel the curve of where his thumb meets palm and fuck- that makes his mouth hook open desperately, drooling against his arm as he gasps silently and can't even come up with a single fucking word as the robot starts fucking him on a majority of his hand. Smooth metal and wet slick making his ass squelch and it's fucking dirty- But- “God,” he cries, pained, even though it could well be the best fucking feeling of his life. 

His cock dangles, dripping slick and he has to methodically plan out how to even move before he tilts the arm- that he isn't currently crying into- down to wrap a hand around his dick. 

He can't even really process stroking it so he settles instead on just grabbing his balls, pulling them tight as he gets fucked by that stupid silent robot. Servos in its arm squeak a little but he can barely hear that beyond his own mouth breathing. And- fuck he wants more. Doesn't even know why he wants more since he's already two seconds away from completely overwhelmed. 

“Pat-pa- fuckin’ Robot,” he babbles “Just stick the whole thing in already.”

There's a whir sound that comes from Pathfinder before he says a gleeful “Okay friend!” and then- Elliot's mind completely shuts down, his back arches tight throat pushing out a sound that's something like a grunt and a cry and he bears down and takes everything as Pathfinder mechanically works its fist into Elliots ass. 

It's completely different than a human fist and...honestly he should expected that. But the taper between its fist and wrist are much more drastic than he expected, his insides grasping around it as his hole goes as tight as it can manage around the robots wrist and he scrambles, hand around his cock pulling on it tight as his spare hand scratches lines into the wooden deck below him.

When it finally fully connects how absolutely ridiculous this is. I mean, who in the hell gets bit by a horny piranha baby and then insists that a robot fists their ass. And- he kinda forgot to ask how long the symptoms last because his dick is throbbing and he wants to come pretty fucking bad but then he's also realizing that they’re in the middle of a battle and “Ring closing,” the voice in the sky says. 

A few shots ring out not too far away and he barely manages to even check his stats beyond the full thrusting feeling of Pathfinders fist working into his ass. 

3 squads left, it says before the shots finally stop and the the 3 becomes a 2 and-

His arm instantly reaches back, tugging the robots arm out of his ass as he panics “Ouch, ah fuck- just- get it out! Get it out!” 

He rolls over and holy fucking shit his ass feels weird. Sticky and loose and he hopes like hell a medkit does the trick.

He should have just taken a medkit from the start, he realizes. But too late now he just got fucking fisted by a robot. 

Said robot watches from above as he administers the kit. “Is there a problem?”

Giving Pathfinder the best glare he can manage, Elliot pulls his pants up, wincing from the stretch of his ass “Yes dumbass, we're gonna die if we don't move we're in a predica- predes- per- bad situation. Get your shit together because we're gonna win this.”

Pathfinder nods happily as he throws his pack back on and unholsters his gun. His hand is shiny with slick and the thing slips in his palm and jesus christ Elliot hopes lube isn't the reason why Pathfinder can't shoot but it's too late now. He sees movement in the distance, someone ziplining across the swamp and- shit shit shit. He makes sure his tac pants are zipped and his magazine is full as he scopes them out. Sending a decoy in. 

It run through the swamp, splashing loudly and gets shot as soon as it passes a shack. They're outnumbered by one but before he can set up a plan Pathfinder is ziplining straight in. 

His ass feels so goddamn weird but he audibly says fuck it and takes the zipline, guns blazing as he and the robot take them all out. 

The sound of champion ringing through his ears.

-

“So, why don't you like Pathfinder?” Makoa asks at the bar. 

Elliots busy wiping the sticky alcohol from counters so it takes a second for him to realize what Gibraltar asked. 

Until his face goes uncontrollably red and he starts to babble like an idiot “It's a- a- ya see- I-”

“Do i even wanna know brotha?” Makoa asks calmly. 

Filled with shame, Elliot scrubs a palm over his face, shaking his head and grabbing a bottle of whiskey from under the counter before he tosses down two shot glasses. He's not normally so humiliated by his sexual escapades. But then again, that one isn't really normal. At all. 

“No,” he says “You really don't.”

**Author's Note:**

> Dubcon because robot. Sex pollen because mirage gets bit by a fish that makes him horny. Fisting because robot fisting. Thats all.
> 
> If anyone reads this and wants some weird specific kinky mirage porn hmu on tumblr, ill write anything gay lol 
> 
> Here's my [Tumblr!](https://www.tyranttirade.tumblr.com)


End file.
